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Adventures In Paradise
By Bob (Last name withheld to protect the innocent)
Chapter Three
The Gringos are Here to Stay!

As reported in chapter two, we were visited by most of our family this month. Both of our boys, Robert and Peter came down to see what the old folks were spending their inheritance on and the response to our new property was "It's not as bad as I thought it would be!" Peter's sister-in-law lives in Costa Rica so his wife had a chance to visit with her for the first time in five years.
We returned to the "Adventure Park" to again cheat death by riding the "Superman" cable into the park.
This consists of being suspended from a cable, 265 feet in the air and being thrown off the platform to travel a half mile in 38 seconds over the Tarcoles river. (This river has the most crocodiles per mile in Costa Rica) I am pleased to report that the entire family (Bob, Margaret, Robert, and Peter) are all certified Superpersons (If not certifiable) I still cant raise my head high enough to see the flag man, but I marked the spot where everyone else spread their arms and did the same to avoid being banned from the park. Speaking of my neck, the chiropractor said that by the time he was done with me, I would be much taller. I am shooting for 6' 2".

30 DAY PROGRESS REPORT:

  1. STILL LIVING IN A RENTED 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH TICO STYLE HOUSE IN ATENAS, WITH PHONE AND INTERNET CONNECTION
  2. OFFER ACCEPTED ON A LOT NEAR GRECIA OF ONE HECTARE IN SIZE (2 ½ ACRES) IN COFFEE WITH BANANA AND SIX OTHER FRUIT TREE SPECIES. PROPERTY RUNS DOWN A HILLSIDE FROM HARD ROAD TO A RIVER. WHILE THE FAMILY WAS HERE, WE ACTUALLY WALKED THE PROPERTY DOWN TO THE RIVER AND YES, THERE REALLY IS ONE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PROPERTY, WITH TWO SMALL WATERFALLS. THE CURRENT OWNER’S FAMILY WILL CONTINUE TO WORK THE COFFEE AND KEEP WATCH ON OUR HOUSE WHEN WE ARE NOT THERE. WE EXPECT TO CLOSE THE 15TH OF NEXT MONTH.
  3. HAVE STARTED SEARCH FOR ARCHITECT TO START DEVELOPING SITE PLAN AND DRAWINGS FOR HOUSE. LOOKED AT PICTURES OF A DEVELOPMENT BY A LOCAL FIRM AND REVIEWED HOUSEPLANS DEVELOPED BY THEM FOR FRIENDS WHO ARE BUILDING HERE IN ATENAS. WILL MEET WITH THEM AS WELL AS ANOTHER ARCHITECT RECOMMENDED BY ANOTHER FRIEND.
  4. BOUGHT MARGARET A MACHETTE SO SHE CAN START THE BANANNA HARVEST ON OUR RENTAL PROPERTY.
  5. GOT A NEW PAIR OF HEARING AIDS. THESE ARE DIGITAL, EACH WITH A COMPUTER AND A 20 CHANNEL EQUILIZER SO I CAN REALLY HEAR THE MOSQUITOS COMING NOW.
  6. SPANISH LESSIONS SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK DUE TO COSTA RICAN MOTHER’S DAY AND VISIT BY OUR FAMILY
  7. PILATES LESSONS GOING WELL AND WE ARE BOTH EXPERIENCING IMPROVED FLEXABILITY.


“REVENGE OF THE ANT”….

MARGARET & I RETURNED FROM TOWN TO DISCOVER THAT THE FIREANTS FROM LAST MONTHS EPISODE HAD RETURNED WITH A VENGENCE. WE NOTED A COUPLE OF THOUSAND ANTS RUNNING UP AND DOWN OUR HOUSE WITH THE INTENT TO MOVE IN AND MOVE US OUT. I QUICKLY CHECKED MY NOTE TO SELF: “NEXT TIME FIGHTING FIRE ANTS, DON’T WEAR SHORTS AND SANDLES. WHEN THEY BITE, THEY INJECT VENOM AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET THE NAME FIRE ANTS, IT BURNS LIKE HELL!!!!” , DONNED MY ANT FIGHTING UNIFORM OF JEANS TUCKED INTO LONG SOCKS STICKING OUT OF 8” BOOTS, LONG SLEEVE SHIRT AND HAT. ANYWAY, AFTER ABOUT AN HOUR OF WATERHOSE WORK I DROVE THEM BACK IN RETREAT. THAT ALLOWED ME TIME TO DRIVE BACK TO TOWN AND GET A STRONGER DETERANT. I FOUND SOMETHING CALLED CRUZ VERDE (GREEN CROSS). I’M SURE THIS STUFF IS BANNED IN THE US AND PROBABLY BY THE GENEVA CONVENTION, ‘CAUSE IT KILLS ANYTHING IT COMES IN CONTACT WITH IN ABOUT 8 NANOSECONDS STILL REPELS MOST HUMAN LIFE (REAL ESTATE AGENTS EXCEPTED). A PLUS IS THAT ANYWHERE YOU SPRAY GLOWS IN THE DARK A SOFT GREEN THAT ELIMINATES THE NEED FOR OUTDOOR LIGHTING.

WE NOW HAVE A POST OFFICE BOX AT THE US EMBASSY IN SAN JOSE. IT IS LIMITED TO FIRST CLASS MAIL NOT GREATER THAN 16 OZS. SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO SEND MONEY, NO CASH PLEASE. LET ME KNOW AND I’LL GIVE YOU INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO SEND CHECKS DIRECTLY TO MY OFFSHORE ACCOUNT.


TIME TO SIGN OFF, BUT BEFORE I DO, A SHORT NOTE ON RETIREMENT AND PARADISE. NEITHER IS FOR SISSYS!! HAVING MADE THIS STATEMENT, I WILL TELL YOU THAT I JUST CONFIRMED TRAVEL RESERVATIONS FOR A MUCH NEEDED VACATION FROM PARADISE. WE ARE LEAVING THE 29TH FOR A TRIP TO MEXICO CITY TO VISIT PETER AND HIS FAMILY AND THEN BACK TO KEY WEST TO SEE ROBERT AND WENDY BEFORE HEADING BACK HERE.

SIGNING OFF FROM PARADISE – PURA VIDA (PURE LIFE)

    

 

 

 

 
 
 

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